What is more valuable to you: your car or your kid? November 19, 2008

In our home, we have developed a system of earning tickets with our children. They can earn tickets for anything they help out with around the house. (They are never earned/lost based on behavior.) We also have a family store they can shop from with anything from Legos to “date out with Mom or Dad”. 

 

Recently our four year old bought a date out with me. I took her downtown to the Children’s Museum, located in the basement of a very popular downtown mall. We painted, built barriers for water to run through, played store, and various other activities. It was A LOT of fun! While we were there, my husband called and I had to step into an area near the door to get clear service on my cell phone. I noticed the open doorway at the bottom of a staircase that leads up to the mall. It occurred to me that there is no check-out system, or security at the door. While I’m sure parents are very careful to keep their eyes on their children, the set up of this museum makes for a very easy abduction scenario.

 

After the museum, I took her to lunch at a Mexican restaurant where we shared much laughter over a mexican pizza and chips. It was a great date!! On our way home, we stopped by Target for a few things. I was distracted by the clearance rack and quickly found myself back at the fitting rooms, my arm draped in sale clothes. To my surprise, there was a fully decked out security guard standing with the clerk, double counting the 6 items I was allowed to carry back.

 

I couldn’t help but notice the contrast in security between the Children’s Museum and Target’s fitting rooms. To me it was clear what our society today places importance on. It is not children, as it was in centuries past. It is material things. 

 

More and more often I hear people saying, “We can’t afford to have more children, so we decided two was enough.” These are people who live in nice houses, drive nice cars, where expensive clothing, and both parents work full-time to support their lifestyle of material importance. They can’t AFFORD children. I dare say that affording their children would not be a problem if they would trust that God will supply all of their needs when they stop placing importance on material things and start placing importance on the family God has given them.

 

One reason we do the ticket system is because when we were giving our children an allowance, we could clearly see that they always gravitated towards spending their money on things that gratified their flesh. Selfish desires. Now, there’s nothing wrong with them wanting to spend their hard earned money on toys, I’m not suggesting that. With the family store, however, their money goes a lot further when buying family time, a date with mom and dad, or a shared activity with siblings. It is an intentional way for us to teach our children the value of family. (In light of the gospel of the glory of Christ.) Just this week our seven year old saved up her tickets to buy a lego set for her ten year old brother, because he did not have enough tickets to buy it. They have happily played with it together all week.

What are you spending you “tickets” on? What do you value most? What are you teaching your children to value?

 

I will close with this.

 

Psalm 37:23-29

23 The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way;
24 though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand.

25 I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread.
26 He is ever lending generously, and his children become a blessing.

27 Turn away from evil and do good; so shall you dwell forever.

28 For the Lord loves justice; he will not forsake his saints. They are preserved forever, but the children of the wicked shall be cut off.
29 The righteous shall inherit the land and dwell upon it forever.

big, fat, lazy consumer……guilty as charged! October 18, 2008

I was just sitting on the couch with my husband eating Halloween candy, of all things. I have to say that since we moved back to Spokane and I don’t have a regular gym, I am struggling a lot with this feeling of waking up every morning and feeling like I’m getting fatter and fatter!! Now part of this is just pure self-centered paranoia. But there is some truth to the fact that I, as many Americans do, tend to overeat when I stop making a conscious effort to eat well and exercise. I also have this sense that somehow it is my right to have the things in this world that I think I need. This includes food, clothes, or whatever else my consumer-driven heart desires.

 

Weight has been a struggle for me since I had my first baby, over ten years ago. I love food, and always have. When I was younger I was always involved in some sort of sport or exercise that kept me thin while I ate what I wanted. Now I have a Mommy metabolism along with many lazy Mommy habits- one of which is eating the wrong kinds of foods and not exercising enough. On top of these, I LOVE to go shopping and almost feel depressed if I don’t have the money to go out and get the things I think I need.

 

So here was my life 2 months ago: get up at 6am, drink 2 glasses of water, hit the gym (cardio, weights), come home, eat my healthy sugar free, low carb foods, count my calories, and all was well. Then we move. Over the couse of the past 6 weeks, I am continuing to get lazier and lazier each day. Here’s a glimpse into my life now. Last night I went out to fondue with my sister (of course we ordered the chocolate fondue), had a couple of drinks, come home, go to sleep….this morning too tired to go to the gym. Tonight, go to some friends house for dinner….have a second helping of lasagna, eat the apple crisp for dessert (I don’t even like cooked apples!), come home, put the kids to bed….eat some Halloween candy in front of the TV.

 

If you know me well at all, you should be hearing the screeching of a record here. This is terrible!!! I don’t want to be a fat, lazy, television watching, consumer  American. I want to be a healthy, fit, organic granola eating “Do hard things” , go without, minimalist kind of person. Does anyone else feel this way? Are you discontent with what’s “NORMAL” in society today? And above that, where’s the balance…..the moderation? Can there be a middle ground in these two extremes? Why am I such an all or nothing person?

 

I feel so discontent with mediocracy. I long to live a life full of striving to be better. I hate being consumed with consumerism. (Is this not one of the main problems in America today?) I am so turned off by low standards. Is that a bad thing?

 

I’m obviously discontent tonight and feeling like I don’t want to slip into the same kind of life I had before we went to Mexico. I love this country, I hope I don’t come across as anti-American. I’m just so sick of the wealth of this country and what it does to us. I mean, think about it…..our biggest problems are obesity (too much food) and debt (too much spending with the banks money.) What’s it really like to live in a poverty stricken country? I’ll tell you……it makes our problems here in America look somewhat embarrassing.

 

Okay, I’ll stop rambling and go get some much needed sleep. I would LOVE to hear your opinion on these things!! Leave a comment! Tell me what you’re thinking. I’d love to know !

spoutings about my life September 24, 2008

I’ve had a bit of writers block lately. It’s not that I’m sitting around with so much to say that I can’t write, I just don’t have much to say. I am in such a state of pause- looking around at everything in my life and wondering what is going on. If I knew when we sold our house that we’d be returning to live here I might have hung on to many of my earthly treasures. There aren’t too many things I miss….just a few things. I miss the funky painting of musicians Paul surprised me with for my birthday. I miss some of the cool furniture I took great care in refinishing. I suppose they are worth the lesson in living with little. (Which feels great, by the way!)

 

I feel stuck between cultures a bit. I think of Oaxaca so fondly, and all of the wonderful people I met, places I visited. I miss Texas too. (Well, I mostly just miss my friends there….. and the weather.) I miss hearing Spanish spoken all the time, challenging me to learn more and not be complacent. I miss the smells of Mexico…..fresh tortillas…..even the smell of rotting flesh at the market. I miss being horrified by hanging animal faces. I miss feeling like a celebrity because of my blue eyes and my blonde children. People talked to us wherever we went. I miss the feeling of every day being a new adventure. I miss a lot about Mexico.

 

I love it here, too, though. In a lot of ways this place has never felt entirely like my home. Now, coming back, it does. I love the trees and mountains. I love the taste of the water!!! I love squishing my bare toes down in to the carpet. (I never did like the tile everywhere in Mexico and Texas.) It’s fun to see old friends and have a plethera of health food stores to choose from!! I love this earth friendly state! I like so much about Washington. 

 

So I am just sort of bumbling around trying to find my life here. I unpacked my last box yesterday and everything has a home now. I am going from gym to gym using free 7 day trials so that I can work out but not pay for it until I have more money. (I’d love to hear anyone’s opinion on this!! I welcome any kind of freeloader criticism.) I hear they are building a new YMCA right by our house in the spring. I wonder if I can freeload gyms until then. (Probably not.)

 

I love this feeling that I cannot do anything that God can’t stop me from doing if He so chooses to. I can make all the plans I want but I know He is ultimately directing my steps. I have a great peace in knowing that it was His plan for me to sell everything and go live in Mexico and come back and search craigslist for a bed. So now I’m off to go sleep in my new Craigslist bed, which by the way came from a Hilton Hotel. Not bad, eh?? No mosquitos biting me, I have a heater when I need it. Life is good.

Vagabond at heart August 25, 2008

I’m writing from a hotel in Colby, Kansas. When we left for Oaxaca (a year and a half ago), we drove through Oregon, California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas. It was fun to visit friends and family along the way, and of course see my home town, but I had already been to those states. So I am having so much fun being in states I’ve never been to before.

 

We left Los Fresnos on Saturday night and arrived in Abilene, Texas on Sunday. After many hours by the pool side, we crashed out. Today we traveled through Oklahoma and into Kansas. We got out and took our picture at the “Welcome to Oklahoma” sign, and said we’d do it at every state line. By the time we got to Kansas, the sign came and went quickly and we decided it was too small a sign to drive back for. We agreed it would be fine to find something that says Kansas on it and take our picture in front of that.

 

Tomorrow we head for South Dakota, where we’ll be camping near Mount Rushmore. I cannot wait! I have never been to Nebraska either, so I am excited to drive through it. I’m like a little kid with my head looking out the window at all the cows and prairie brush. We drove past a couple of cow “farms” and I explained to the kids that all of the little cows are going to be tortured and killed so that they can have a cheeseburger. They all agreed they had eaten their last cheeseburger. When I suggested McDonald’s for dinner they were totally offended. So I took them to Arby’s and called the meat turkey. Worked like a charm. (Shhhh! Don’t tell.) 

 

As sad as it was to leave Oaxaca, and then to leave Texas, it feels good to be on the road. I am loving the many hours of play with my children (in the car) without feeling like I should be washing dishes or doing something productive. I’m also loving the many hours with my husband during which we have nothing to do but just hang out. I think if I had a big bus or RV and endless cash, I might just live like this permanently. I don’t even think I’d have to work hard to convince my hubby either. I know, we’re weird. I’m a vagabond at heart.

And……..we’re off! August 22, 2008

I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep. Something about tomorrow being “my day to get up with Lola” makes me not want to go to even go to sleep. We are leaving Sunday, headed back to Spokane. It’s funny how when you want to leave a place all you can think of are the things you don’t like about it. Then when it’s time to go, all you can think about are the things you’ll miss when you’re gone.

 

I wouldn’t dare make a list of the things I won’t miss about being here, but I will make a list of the things I will.

 

I’ll miss…..

1. Keri, Stella, and Katee

2. Seeing my husband on his breaks and lunch hour.

3. The weather. Ohhh how I’ll miss the weather.

4. The beach.

5. Living 15 minutes from Mexico.

6. My gym being so close to my house.

7. Great neighbors.

I have had a lot of fun these past eight months. Time seems to have flown by, but I also feel like I’m leaving as a different person than when I arrived. I have made some great friends and learned a lot about living in close community with other people. I am sad to go, but ready to move on!

Goodbye, southern Texas………goodbye!

eight/eight August 8, 2008

Today marks eight years since Lola was diagnosed with breast cancer. I’ll never forget the call. Grandma Buck was living with us while she recovered from her car accident, and Joe’s death. Luke was two, Isa not yet six months. Paul was on summer break before his last semester of college.

 

It was just after dinner when the phone rang. We had been waiting for the results of her biopsy, but we knew. (Somehow you just do- way down deep in your gut, still the shock uf it hits you like you don’t.) Paul was somewhat frozen as he hung up the phone.

 

Paul and I had been baptized just a few weeks before. New christians, eyes wide open to “God’s great big world.” How do you deal with issues like that when you’ve just come to faith? Somehow, too, there’s a sense of awe and wonder, trusting that “Our God can do anything!”……Because He can! And we thought that we knew His plan, of course, that she would be healed, because…..isn’t life on earth what it’s all about? (Even when we don’t believe it is, we act like it. I know I did!) I was praying as if what was best for Lola was to see my kids grow up.

 

In the five and a half years that followed, Lola was able to see so much more than we had hoped for….Luke’s first violin recital, Isa’s first bike ride (to her house!), Lydia’s first asthma attack, Elena’s first Christmas.

 

We saw so much too… Chemo, radiation, surgery, pain, tears, laughter, her beautiful bald head, her ability to look outside herself, a bone marrow transplant, hope, and death.

 

I am so thankful to know God today in a much different way. I am not doubtful that it was His sovereign will for her to have cancer, and that she die. I am thankful to Him for her cancer, and even for her death. It has been incredibly difficult for me to come to grips with it, really. I rest in verses like these:

2 Peter 2:9a …the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials..

Romans 9:18 So then He has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever He wills.

 

Matthew 10:29  Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father.

Now we have our own little Lola. She never got to meet her Grandma, but she’s a constant reminder to us that we had the privilege of knowing a woman of great love and integrity. She is a woman who’s influence on me has forever changed me, and I feel honored to have been her daughter-inlaw, and her friend.

 

You never know when you might remember, eight years later, exactly what you were doing when something that will change your life forever happens. This day I will not forget. August 8th is a day of many reflections for me.

Something’s Fishy…. August 3, 2008

When I was living in Seoul, I ate little sushi rolls almost every day for lunch. These were, however, the kind that did not have raw fish in them or on top of them. (Raw fish is called sashimi and is often used as a topping for sushi; whereas sushi is actually rice flavored with rice vinegar, and has various other ingredients.) I love sushi, but I’ve always steered clear of sashimi! More and more I continue to meet seemingly normal people who choose to consume raw fish. The even stranger thing is that they appear to like it.

 

So a few weeks ago some friends and I took our friend, Katie out for her 30th birthday. When asked what her favorite restaurant is, (you guessed it) it’s a restaurant that serves sushi and sashimi. “Fair enough,” I think. Surely I can sit at the same table with someone who is eating something raw on purpose (namely a fish). It was, afterall, her birthday.

 

So while I ordered some spicy cooked meat over a bed of noodles, out comes Katie’s plate. It is filled with several sushi rolls with varieties of fish atop. I watch her, inquisitively, to see if she really liked it. She did! As I watched her eat it, I was sort of wishing I had been nervy enough to order that myself.

 

About a week later I was preparing some salmon for my family, which I intended to steam. As I had it in my hand, I felt an overwhelming urge to take a big bite out of it raw. Now, don’t be alarmed. I am aware that sashimi has been frozen in a way that kills harmful organisms. I did not eat the raw salmon. I did, however, realize that I was ready to try raw fish.

 

Last night was that night. Katie and her husband picked up some sushi and and raw, sashimi grade, tuna. We had a beautiful dinner at their house and I am happy to say I LOVED the sashimi. I loved it so much, in fact, that I have wanted it all day today! So for those of you who have yet to try sushi or sashimi…….try it! Or call me, I’ll go out and have some with you!

My Life as a Spoiled American July 26, 2008

 

Monday afternoon we knew the hurricane was coming. My husband drove to the store in the early evening to get some supplies. The store was out of many of the supplies we thought we might need, including candles. He was able to buy 2 cases of water, peanut butter, some canned goods, and 1 flashlight. (Living in extreme poverty (less than $1 a day) means not being able to afford the most basic necessities to ensure survival. 8 million people a year die from absolute poverty.)

                     

Tuesday our windows were boarded up.  The rain started in the afternoon. We bathed all of our kids and filled the bathtub with water before bed.  (In addition to the 1.1 billion people around the world who lack access to safe water, 2.6 billion people lack basic sanitation.)

Wednesday morning we woke up to the beeping of our appliances as the electricity went out. It was raining and windy. Our house was black without the light of the windows. The kids ate breakfast to the light of a lantern. (Worldwide, some 2 billion people are currently without electricity.) When the sun came up, we all stood outside for quite some time watching the wild winds and rain. We enjoyed the excitement of the pre-hurricane weather. It was unlike any storm I’ve ever seen with my own eyes.

When the hurricane hit South Padre Island we knew it would be at our house shortly. Drenched, we stood in awe of the awesome power of the storm. There’s nothing like truly experiencing a power far greater than yourself, and realizing that this was but a flick of God’s pinky finger. It was exciting and frightening all at once.

As the day went on we were soaked. Our excitement didn’t last long and we were all exhausted. We found out that the roads leading out of our town were all flooded, and the freeway shut down. I had never experienced the feeling of not being able to escape a situation before. I felt helpless and trapped. Power still out, we went to bed in utter darkness.  (A team of American and Iraqi public health researchers has estimated that 600,000 civilians have died in violence across Iraq since the 2003 American invasion. Number of US troops in Iraq….about 138,000.)

Thursday we woke up wet with sweat.  The kids were whiny and I had a sinking feeling about the day. We were able to hook up to a generator that gave us enough power to brew a pot of coffee, or plug in our refrigerator for awhile. (Though accounting for only 5 percent of the world’s population, Americans consume 26 percent of the world’s energy. Additionally, residential appliances, including heating and cooling equipment and water heaters, consume 90% of all energy used in the U.S. residential sector.)

We were all sick of the food we had to eat. (Around 28% of all children in developing countries are estimated to be underweight or stunted.)  I took a refreshingly cold shower, but was sweaty within five minutes of getting dressed. (1.8 billion people who have access to a water source within 1km, but not in their house or yard, consume 20 liters per day. The highest average water use in the world is in the US, at 600 liters per day.) I longed to check my email, turn on the air conditioner, and get back to a “normal” day.  I found myself actually depressed over my perceived unfortunate circumstances. (North Korea is a source country for men, women, and children trafficked for the purposes of forced labor and commercial sexual exploitation; the most common form of trafficking involves North Korean women and girls who cross the border into China voluntarily; additionally, North Korean women and girls are lured out of North Korea to escape poor social and economic conditions by the promise of food, jobs, and freedom, only to be forced into prostitution, marriage, or exploitative labor arrangements once in China.)

The day dragged on. We heard several rumors around the neighborhood that power would be on by Saturday….then not until Monday…..I was wallowing in self pity. We put the kids to bed and then all of a sudden the power was back on!! We shouted for joy. I quickly checked to see if the internet was up and running. It was! We turned the air conditioner on and fell asleep in a perfectly climate controlled room.(In sub-Saharan Africa, more than 92 percent of the rural population is without electricity.)

Friday morning came. I woke up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. I went over to my stove, like every morning, and made myself 3 egg whites and a cup of oatmeal.  I sat in my chair to read and was sickened as I thought of my attitude over the days passed. I reflected on the real state of the world and realized what a spoiled American I am. I felt (and feel) truly disgusted with how, as an American, I feel I have some right to running water, electricity, adequate housing, good medical care, and a host of other privileges I have always taken for granted.

So it’s Saturday now. There are still many people without power in my city, and even down the same street where I live. There are fallen signs, uprooted trees, and debris in many yards. Many businesses are still shut down. Yet we are still far more blessed than people living out their daily lives all over the world. Even in a state of crisis we have more resources than most of the world’s population. So rather than post pictures of my own puny neighborhood, or talk about my woes, I’d like to close with some statistics I found on what life is like in Myanmar after their disaster just 2 months ago.

• Cyclone Nargis made landfall on May 5, 2008

·         It is believed to have killed 130,000 people.

·         It destroyed 450,000 homes, damaged 350,000 others, flooded 600,000 hectares of agricultural land and destroyed 60% of farming implements.

• Cyclone Nargis had sustained winds of 130 mph and gusts of 150-160 mph, which is the equivalent of a strong Category 3 or minimal Category 4 hurricane.
• An estimated 2.4 million people were severely affected by Cyclone Nargis.  
• Myanmar’s social welfare minister told reporters on May 5 that 95 percent of the homes in Bogalay had been destroyed.
• The destruction of lives and property was blamed on the 12 foot (3.6 meter) high storm surge that accompanied Cyclone Nargis.

·         About 75% of hospitals and clinics in the area were destroyed or badly damaged.

·         Around 700,000 children are in need of long-term aid in Myanmar due to the devastating effects of May’s Cyclone Nargis.

 

 

“My, how you’ve changed…..” July 19, 2008

Next month, my husband and I will celebrate eleven years of marriage. So I thought I’d make a list of eleven things that have changed since we met.

 

He….

eats cottage cheese, olives, and chinese food- and loves them

doesn’t smoke…..anything…..anymore

wears underwear

goes to bed before midnight

has traveled outside the U.S.

doesn’t wear his “Hot Wheels” shirt anymore

gets regular haircuts

doesn’t ride his bike everywhere

brushes and flosses his teeth daily

finished college

loves Jesus

 

I……

don’t say the “F” word

don’t smoke

like onion rings

don’t always have to be right

drink coffee daily

think about how others feel

don’t wear a bikini…. or mini skirts

wear underwear

care about global issues

read daily

love Jesus

Bok Choy and Kale Soup July 15, 2008

When I was first married, almost eleven years ago, I could not cook. At all. I remember the first time I made chicken. I was trying out an “easy chicken and pasta” recipe. I called my Mom in a panic because the chicken was turning white. She reassured me that all chicken does that when it’s being cooked.

 

Over the years I have learned to enjoy (i didn’t say love) cooking. It’s hard to live with someone who throws things together that taste like they are a gourmet recipe. Almost everything he has ever made is delicious. So I am quite impressed with myself when I make something that tastes decent without using a recipe. Below is my latest creation. I’d love to hear from anyone who makes it, even if you hate it!

 

Bok Choy and Kale Soup

8 cups vegetable broth (can use chicken broth)

4 cloves garlic

2 cups kale, washed and cut into small pieces

1 yellow onion, finely chopped

1 stalk bok choy, washed and cut into bite sized pieces, including leaves

2 cups edamame, out of the pod

2 TBSP extra virgin olive oil

Soy sauce (optional)

 

Using a large pot, cook onions and garlic in olive oil over medium heat, until soft. Add kale and cook about 5 minutes, stirring frequently. Add broth and stir in bok choy. Cook over medium heat about 30 minutes, or until bok choy is wilted. Turn heat to medium high, add edamame and cook another 10 minutes. Soup is ready to serve! Add soy sauce for extra flavor. Enjoy!